Five Things You Can Say to End a Conversation with Me
Posted by erin at June 9, 2004 03:32 PM1. I won't watch anything in black and white or with subtitles.
2. All cartoons are stupid (and/or for kids).
3. I hate the Simpsons (exception: the speaker raised overseas, although this rule excludes most English-speaking countries.)
4. I don't own a television.
5. Have you asked Jesus into your heart?Notes:
1. - My dad has said this before, but I keep speaking to him, indicating that these rules may apply only on a per-conversation basis.
2. - If all cartoons are for kids, you better let your kids watch Beavis and Butthead as well as all of Ralph Bakshi's works. Not all cartoons are stupid, but it is entirely possible the speaker has never seen an intelligent cartoon. The statement "I only like old Warner Brother cartoons" (implying Bugs Bunny stuff only), is also very damning. There's a whole range of cartoons beyond Warner Brothers.
3. - alt. statement "I've never seen Star Wars." I suppose maybe you've seen Indiana Jones, but if you've never even seen Star Wars once it becomes immediately more difficult for me to identify with the speaker on a base level.
4. - If you don't own a television, how can you rent movies? Do you only see them in the theater? Do you live in a third world country? I realize television is largely vile and evil, and I kind of admire people who don't own a TV, but since I work for television, my existence starts to become less valid the more I talk to such a person. (Exception: The speaker watches a communal television, etc.)
5. - I think it's OK for other people to be fundamental Christians or what have you, that's their business. But asking me such a question, in earnest, pretty much guarentees an abbrieviated conversation to follow.
Comments Individual Archive Index
June 11, 2004 12:55 AM, Maggie said:
For some reason my brain replaced "speaker" with "loudspeaker" in your post. Hilarity ensues!
June 16, 2004 08:26 AM, Rick said:
You know Erin, 4 out of 5 of you conversation enders revolve around television or movies (and the fifth one doesn't even really count as that doesn't involve your inability to interact with outhers, but born-again Christians not being able to connect with non-Christians) Isn't that too important a role for television and film in you live?
June 17, 2004 03:33 AM, anthony said:
Well, television is providing an income, so it already is a fairly important part of her life. Might as well pile on the rest.
June 17, 2004 10:43 AM, Erin said:
Well, I was a TV and film major in college, and now my so-called career is in that field...
Although, to be fair, if I had been an accounting major and was now working as an accountant, I could hardly blame people for not wanting to talk to me about accounting. (lion taming)
Also, I forgot the runner-up for #6:
6. If Bush wins the election, I swear to god, I'm moving to Canada.
I have actually heard more than one person utter this phrase. I hope they do move to Canada!
Post a comment