Eating Someone Else's Turkey Sandwich

Mr. Miyagi is dead, but I saw him just the other day! ali_wildgoose and ichaparadisefan saw him just the other day when we went to Patsy's Pizzaria on University and 11th street. It was an auspicious day, because it was the 100th anniversary of American pizza (apparently, November 9th, which is only a few days before Pocky Day in Korea). Lombardi's was giving away pizza at the 1905 price - 5¢ a slice.

An auspicious day, indeed, because I wouldn't have seen Mr. Miyagi sitting directly behind me if my friends hadn't pointed it out. I also didn't realize that it was the anniversary of pizza until at least that Friday! Plus it was ichaparadisefan's last day at work.

I've never actually seen Karate Kid all the way through. (Maybe I've caught parts of it on cable.) But maybe this is a sign that I should watch it.

How was Thanksgiving? What'd I do? I cooked a turkey! It was the first turkey I've ever cooked and I was shocked at how much it looked like an alien when I took it out of the package. I cooked it in a Reynolds cooking bag, and was surprised to find out how much it then looked like an "aborted alien fetus" while cooking (according to Matt). Later when we cut open the bag and started carving, it was shocking like an alien autopsy.

The cooking bag presented a problem - like - how was I supposed to check on the turkey without opening the bag or cutting it or something? I figured, our oven is really slow to cook things (whole chicken, fish, hams) so it'll probably take even longer than my mom's generous cooking time, so I'll just let it ride. Without checking on it. I turns out you're supposed to cook it for the last hour out of the bag. Who knew?

So by the time I took the turkey out the skin had crisped to something like a fine black paper. A lot of the breast meat was hopelessly inedible, but being a 16 pound turkey, there was still plenty of good meat on the bottom.

I used my mom's stuffing recipe, and perhaps due to the over-cooking, it turned out unusually dense, but still delicious. I used Jeremiah's pumpkin pie recipe, and it turned out AWESOME. Maybe too much bourbon, but I did a good job. epathamerkerson was dubious about the pie, and I understand why. Growing up, we never had really good pumpkin pie. Sorry, godzillamom, but you've been making sub-par pumpkin pie your entire life! Jeremiah's pie, the way he made it (less bourbon than me), was like pumpkin pie enlightenment - that's the way it's supposed to taste.

So the overall stats:

Turkey: 60% edible.
Stuffing: 100% Delicious
Pumpkin Pie: 5% too much bourbon, otherwise delicious.
Cranberry Sauce: Needed to cook 5 minutes more.
Kale: What the hell were those weird things in there? Grass? I dunno. I undercooked it a little, but if you overcook it it's like spinach, so whatever.

Oh, the title line refers to my horrible lunch experience today.

I went into this tiny Subway (Sandwiches) store on Broadway (near Bleeker) and the counter was really short, so I couldn't tell which end to wait at. There were only two other customers there and two or three employees. Suddenly three loud-ass theater students shove their way in and push past me to the correct end of the counter. So although I was next in line, NOW I WAS FOURTH IN LINE. I frowned at them a whole lot and the one girl said something like, "Well, I know what I want." She might not've been saying it to me. I was looking at the menu when they showed up, but I also knew what I wanted.

So I waited and waited and waited, and this was AFTER using the change machine at the bank nearby, and AFTER I "filled a coin bag" so a bank employee had to come and change the bag, which took forever. The girl in front of me at Subway bought a wrap (I HATE wraps) and kept requesting a million things, including asking for cheese at the end, because she'd forgotten it, (and she was rude about it). She was taking so long that they started ringing me up ahead of her.

This messed up the order of sandwiches on the counter, so, suspecting I might get the wrong sandwich I peaked inside to make sure I wasn't getting an f'ing wrap. I wasn't. Then I couldn't find where they were storing the lids for the soda cups (at the register, and not, say, near the soda fountain).

Finally I walk the 15 minutes back to the office and I've been gone for nearly an hour already, and I realize that I've got SOMEONE ELSE'S SANDWICH. And it's TURKEY. I ordered ham. I watched the Subway lady put on the delicious ham. I've been eating turkey sandwiches for four days, which is fine, because I love leftover turkey, but I hate deli sliced turkey. And it's on white bread instead of wheat.

In fact, being a subway sandwich, all of the tiny details of the sandwich were someone else's. Someone else's cheese choice, someone else's peppers, someone else's garnish, and no pickles. God I love pickles. My sandwich had tons of pickles on it. My only hope is that the person who got my sandwich (possibly the guy behind me in line), also had to go to work, and was too late and hungry to do anything about it (like me) and had to eat all those pickles, or possibly pick them off of the sandwich (after accidently eating a few of them).

So that pretty much ruined my lunch. Only the chips and soda were actually up to me.

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