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Sunday, September 08, 2002

Friday

Paranoia paranoia everybody's coming to get me!

Here is a weird kind of paranoia I have, and that I've always had for as long as I can remember: Whenever I walk into a room, particularly a cafeteria, and a group of people start laughing really loudly, the first thing that crosses my mind is that they must be laughing at me. Even if there is no obvious reason to be laughing at me - I am wearing pants, I have not dropped my tray of food, etc. - I just assume that one person has made a joke about me and the others are laughing. The louder they laugh, the more I worry.

I know that this is a completely irrational fear. I realize that, logically, the odds are much greater that they are laughing about something else. Usually I can quickly squelch my fear, but sometimes, it takes a little while...

Today, for example, I was riding the subway and everyone in the car was quiet. A girl about my age sat down next to me. After about 5 minutes I scratched my nose (not a pick, nothing weird) and the girl next to me laughed loudly. I don't know what she was laughing at, maybe she thought of a joke she heard yesterday, but the point is, I felt paranoid. I did not scratch my nose again, just in case. She did not laugh again.

Fri Sep 13 14:47:36 2002
Erin Finnegan @ 8:38 PM :: Comments []

Thursday

(2:30pm) The office just totally emptied out. I have no idea where people went. Actually I think they're all in a meeting. (3:30pm)...and now they've come back from said meeting. I was supposed to attend but I forgot!! I clicked dismiss on my outlook calendar reminder, thinking it was something else. I hope no one noticed. It was a big meeting, so I could've been there and they might not've noticed.

Here are my two topics for today:

Dry Cleaning and Existentialism

What's the point of dry-clean-only clothes? There have been times in my life when I have been too poor to even do my laundry, let alone dry clean my dry-clean-only clothes. Slapping a dry-clean-only label on an item of clothing is like giving me a personal invitation to wear that item of clothing until it smells bad, attempt to wash it in a normal washing machine, ruin it, and never wear it again, or at least never attempt to wash it again and wear it until it breaks.

Basically, I deny the existence of dry-clean-only clothing, and by denying that existence, I am free to wash my clothes in whatever manner I see fit.

The Correct Method of Acting Like an Obnoxious Asshole to Your Friends

Believe it or not, there is a right way and a wrong way to be an obnoxious asshole. For example, let's say a friend of yours has a really crappy car, not a complete rustbucket by any means, but just a nothing-special 1991 maroon chevy that's past it's prime.

And let's say you don't like your friend's car, and you wish to argue, in as irritating a way as possible, that your car is much better. Although there are many ways to do this, I will herein outline one right way and one wrong way:

The right way: Be as up-front, straight-forward, and as honest as you can while being obnoxious. Say it, loudly and proudly, "I think your car SUCKS." Take on a mocking tone, and use a lot of details, "The automatic seat belts feel like they're choking me!" Scream in pain as these seat belts retract. Etc. Let there be no question that you are being an obnoxious jerk who dislikes the car.

The wrong way: Be sneaky, manipulative, and as malicious and condescending as possible. When your friend invites you on a road trip, proud of his/her crap car, bring your CD collection, knowing full-well the car only has a tape player, then shrug it off like it's no big deal and insist on listening to your headphones the whole trip. Leave flyers for "better" used car dealerships on your friend's windshield. When the automatic seatbelt chokes you, merely mention (every single time you ride in said car) that you prefer the other kind of seat belt, and be sure to say it in a condescending way.

Method #1 lets your friend know you hate his/her car, and although it makes you look bad, it doesn't make your friend feel bad. If the friend gets angry at you, they'll be able to joke around with you about it and take it with a grain of salt.

Method #2 make you look good (only in the sense that you are pretending to be polite) at the expense of making your friend feel bad. It also doesn't really make it clear that you hate your friend's car. Your friend might just think you actually hate them, and take it really personally.

Any questions?

Thu Sep 12 16:11:11 2002
Erin Finnegan @ 8:38 PM :: Comments []

Wednesday

Last year, on Monday, September 15th, I wrote this for my friends and relatives about my expiriences on September 11th:

http://erinfinnegan.com/WTC.html

There's a lengthy introduction on the geography of Manhattan, and several typos, but it might be worth the read.

Wed Sep 11 10:07:52 2002
Erin Finnegan @ 8:38 PM :: Comments []

Tuesday

10. The pain in my left knee. (8)
9. Having to find a new doctor. (7)
8. Running out of money this month.(4)
7. Finding a dentist (5)
6. Not having time to write, watch anime, and work out.(6)
5. Refilling my prescription for stomach medication, and the inevitable battle with the pharmacist this will lead to.(2)
4. Falling asleep at work.
3. Getting rejected for the credit card I just applied to. (3)
2. My inability to iron/do laundry/buy groceries
1. Nuclear War

N's Job Security, Possible Stalker, and Sending My Script to That Producer have all fallen off the list, as N landed a more-permanent temp assignment, I've seen no signs of a stalker, and I sent my script off today. A lot of my other worries are also falling down the list as my knee begins to feel better, Tim suggested a nice doctor, and I bought my medication in non-prescription strength after a frustrating visit to the pharmacy wherein the pharmacist was supposed to "be right back."

There are several newcomers to the List this week - thanks to September 11th and an impending war with Iraq, an old favorite, "Nuclear War" has sprung to the top of the list. There's nothing to stop you from sleeping like recalling footage taken of Hiroshima "survivors," I tell you what.

Wed Sep 11 13:29:41 2002

Maggie

You can use anxiety #1 to defeat anxiety #4.

Wed Sep 11 14:28:36 2002

Kiko-chan

Last night I screened "Kiko-chan's Smile" for Rick and Hal and N. At last! An anime series that could not be fetishized by Rick and/or Hal! The series is about a super-intelligent kindergartner who rarely speaks and almost never smiles. She has hapless parents and a clueless teacher and some kind of guardian-angel-cat that looks like an ordinary cat. It's based on a manga called Be-Love Parfait.

I really like the series because it reminds me of my own kindergarten days. People always told me to smile more often, and I was also very shy. I expect my parents often felt the same way about me as Kiko-chan's parents do about her.

So in a way, I'm glad that the series couldn't be warped for me like how Sailor Moon got warped - however, N didn't like the series. That means that there is no one who can share my enjoyment in the show. What a let-down.

Meanwhile...

My bus ride this morning was free. I'm not sure if the card scanner broke, or it was on account of the whole September 11th thing.

I got really weirdly dizzy at work today for an hour or two. I don't know what the deal was, and it was kind of scary. I seem to be better now.

Franco

Lately I've been thinking that Franco would probably fit in pretty well at the company where I work. I checked the HR job posting page and found something he was probably qualified for, so I emailed HR - only to find that the job was filled yesterday. So the search for a job for Franco continues.

I also asked about how internal temps get hired here - unfortunately, the positions aren't usually posted and the woman who's in charge of hiring temps really hates me (after an altercation with her last month). I think it's pretty shady that they don't post the positions, though...

Wed Sep 11 16:46:47 2002

Erin Finnegan @ 8:38 PM :: Comments []

Unnngh! Our stupid internet connection went down again!!! So click on comments to see Monday's post.

Monday

There is a really disgusting smog over Jersey City today. Most of the time, the weather is either clear, and one can see to the horizon, or it is hazy with heat and humidity, and one can't see very far at all. But today, rather than the usual white haze, there is a sick-looking brownish haze. It looks like the kind of smoke you get when a lot of people rake their yards and burn their leaves

Mon Sep 9 10:09:24 2002

Jerksquad!

In the beginning, there were jerks....

I've decided that the title of my next screenplay will be "Jerksquad!" and it will be all about jerks. You know what they say: "Write what you know!" So from now on I will be compiling a list of jerk behaviors, jerk stunts, and otherwise jerky actions and things jerks do. Suggestions are welcome. I don't want the list to be all real stuff people have done, but rather stuff that's so jerky you can't believe you thought of it, and that you hope no one would ever actually do.

Meanwhile, I would like to complain. This is a jerky thing to does actually happens in real life:

The interruption! There are times when interrupting another person is expected, and sometimes even appropriate and encouraged. However, there are certain kinds of interruptions that are quite infuriating.

Take, for example, my friend Z, in high school. Z would listen intently to whatever you were trying to say - or so it seemed. Say, for example, you were laying down to Z your personal theory about why quarks move the way they do. Z would listen intently for a while, then interrupt to ask you a question - which would be fine, if the question were about quarks. But alas, Z's question would be a very thoughtful question on a completely unrelated topic. That always irked me, because it meant that Z not only was rude enough to interrupt, but she was also cruel enough not to listen to a word I had said. I only put up with it because she was so smart.

Such a situation may seem bad, dear readers, but as it turns out, it can get worse. At least Z was only interrupting me while we talked on a one-on-one basis. The last time I went home, I hung out with a big group of high school friends, and I was laying down my theory of quantum mechanics (topics and names have obviously been changed) when friend X interrupted me to ask an unrelated question. Alright, so friend X wasn't paying attention, whatever, that's her gig - but what about my friends who were listening intently, friends Y, W, U, and V? I'm lucky if I can pick up where I left off on my original speech after answering X's question. In a way, X didn't just interrupt me, she interrupted everyone.

Now, if X had started an unrelated side-conversation with Y, I would have been OK with it. Or perhaps if my topic had lost the interest of Y, W, U, and V, and they had instead chosen to converse on this new topic that X brought up, well, I would be slightly annoyed, but I would get over it eventually. But that's not what happened - X interrupted, I answered her random question, and then I completed my thoughts on quantum mechanics to the other listeners. Was there no way X could have waited to ask her random question? Perhaps if it had been terribly important, it wouldn't be such an issue (examples: Did you know your hair has caught on fire? Would you like sugar in your coffee, or were you the diabetic?). But X was not asking something important enough to interrupt 5 people - she didn't excuse herself, or act humble about it, either.

Furthermore, it would have been OK if X only made this mistake once or twice, but this is sadly not the case. She does it all the time.

There is simply no way to justify such ill-mannered, unexcused, and unjustified behavior.

However, this is still not nearly jerky enough to put into my jerk movie. Think of jerkier stuff than this example.

Mon Sep 9 15:38:26 2002
Erin Finnegan @ 8:37 PM :: Comments []